Change starts with getting to know yourself better and cultivating self-awareness. After doing the exercises in this module (and doing them on an ongoing basis), I’m hoping that you will have a better understanding of your fears and how you deal with failure. It’s a good thing to know what you fear, but it’s not good to let your mind ruminate and create stories, such as:
“I’m just not cut out for this.”
“I will always shoot in the 80s in tournaments.”
“I always play badly when it matters. I’m a choker.”
“How did I shoot such a terrible score?!?!”
“What will everyone think of me now?”
“I will never be as good as him/her”
Performance Anxiety
The rumination of negative thoughts and telling yourself a negative story is what we know as “Performance Anxiety”. This anxiety makes it harder to keep the mind in the present and instead it gets stuck in a negative thinking loop which becomes a negative state of mind. What’s worse is that most of time we’re not aware that we’re doing it. The mind tells us stories and we just follow along and believe them.
Research tells us that the most effective way to pull ourselves out of negative thinking patterns and notice how we’re thinking is practice called “Mindfulness”.
Mindfulness
“Mindfulness is a pause – the space between stimulus and response – that’s where choice lies.” – Tara Brach
The practice of mindfulness, allows us to:
- notice how we are feeling and thinking without reacting to it
- redirect or keep our focus on what’s most important
- to focus on what we are intending to focus on
- turn down the volume on noise or “mental chatter”
- be more accepting of what we are experiencing, so we can be more agile in how we navigate challenges
Using Mindfulness to Sidestep Negative Thoughts
“Focus, notice and redirect” – Dr. Amishi Jha
As we go about our days, feelings are being triggered by our environment (events, people, our senses, etc.) or by things that we consciously choose to focus on (or “think” about). Most of the 70,000 or so thoughts that we have each day are automatic, conditioned responses to feelings. The mind likes to create stories to give meaning to the way we feel. What might surprise you is that roughly two-thirds of our daily thoughts are “negative” and fearful perceptions of the past or future (it’s the brains survival mechanism at work).
Without cultivating awareness of the thoughts that surround our feelings, we can easily live them out and deepen the negative thinking patterns and habits that hold us back. With mindfulness practice, you get to observe what the mind is doing, so you can pause between feelings and the thoughts that follow.
So, instead of being “triggered” and reacting, we can choose what we focus on next. With practice and repetition, we gain more control of our emotions, behaviors and the habits we form.
This is an especially valuable skill in golf. In most other sports, the game happens faster – there’s less time to be influenced by the thinking and stories that follows your feelings. But in golf, most of the time you’re “playing”, you’re in between shots with plenty of time to let your thoughts interfere and further change how you feel and how you play.
Without awareness the mind will jump to conclusions and tell us unhelpful stories that are not based on reality – it’s just doing its job (to protect us), but we end up on an emotional rollercoaster.
For example, imagine you hit your first tee shot out of bounds. It is perfectly normal for feelings of disappointment and frustration to be triggered as you see your ball heading towards, and eventually landing O.B. But what follows next is up to you if you are aware. When we experience those feelings, the mind might create a story, such as “It’s going to be a bad day”, “What a terrible start this is”, “How could this happen after hitting it great on the range?” or “How embarrassing this is!”.
None of these thoughts are true but the more you listen to them, the more believable they become, and you are more likely to find emotions and behaviors in accordance with them. You are no longer acting in line with your player values and reality but reacting to whatever external situation arises.
When you’re more aware and “mindful”, you’ll be able to smile at the little voice in your head and gently shift your attention back to the present and the task at hand, without any judgement at all.
Acceptance Theory
Whatever you are thinking and feeling at any moment in time, is acceptable and never wrong. When you are aware of what is (not what should be) and you can accept it, you are no longer in a reactive state and trying to change things. Instead, you are in a responsive state, which gives you the power to choose what happens next.
One thing that golfers speak to me about is not being able to get negative thoughts out of their heads. This is where acceptance comes in.
Imagine you are in a tournament, and you are about to play a tight tee shot with water down one side of the hole. Too many golfers will let the thoughts of “don’t hit it in the water” affect them. If this thought does occur to you, it’s acceptable. It’s the resistance of these thoughts and labelling it as “incorrect thinking” – that you couldn’t possibly hit a shot with those kinds of thoughts – that causes the problem (tension).
Trying not to think of them is not the answer either – it doesn’t work. As we’ve discussed in this section, thoughts are just thoughts and have no power unless we choose to give them power.
A better approach is to be accepting of your thoughts about the hazard and then without judgment, gently bring yourself back to what’s most important – the target and steps of your pre shot routine. With less trying not to do something and more acceptance about those thoughts, it will be easier to stay focused on what you choose.
The same goes for after a shot. If you can acknowledge and accept how you feel immediately after hitting a shot that you are disappointed with, it will pass quickly. I.e., It’s ok to feel angry or disappointed. These primary feelings are not controllable but noticing them means you are in the present and aware of them. By doing so, you can avoid the negative interpretation that can follow if you are unaware.
Focus
“Through greater awareness, we can get better at keeping the mind still and quiet, so we can be more in touch with our present reality” – Ryan Holiday, from this book “Stillness Is The Key”
Another aspect of your performance that greater awareness or mindfulness will improve is your focus. Without awareness, you don’t know when your focus is no longer on a task. It’s like having a conversation with someone but not really paying attention to what they are saying, you’re there physically, but not mentally. In golf, “the task” is the shot routine, or the “in between” shot time. During these times you’ll need to be aware of what you are focusing on and whether its on what you intend. Awareness tells you when you’ve lost focus, so you can redirect it. This means you’ll experience a deeper, more unshakable focus.
3 Steps To Greater Mindfulness
Zen master, Thich Nhat Hahn, says that you should say to yourself “I feel ______”, such as “I feel nervous”, or “I feel angry”. This is an act of self-compassion. It’s ok to experience a feeling or thought and not try to change them. By noticing and accepting them, you immediately create some distance from their influence, as opposed to giving them more power and turning them into tension and changing your mood.
Step 1: Acknowledge: What am I thinking and how am I feeling? Be curious instead of judgmental =>
Step 2: Accept:
“I’m thinking____ and feeling_____, and that’s ok. =>
Step 3: Reset
Bring yourself back to your breathing, smiling, or a positive affirmation, etc.
The more you go through this process, the more mindful you become. We can increase this awareness and attentional focus control further, with a practice of daily meditation.