“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” – Winston Churchill
Pessimism
One thing that is certain is that being negative will never help you perform well. In fact, negative thinking is a lot more powerful than positive thinking (neuroscientists say you need 3 positive thoughts to counter 1 negative).
Many golfers can fall into negative thinking patterns after a few bad shots or when they’re not playing well. They struggle to see it turning around and think that more poor shots will follow. As we discussed earlier in the module, if you are unaware, and allow negative thinking (and negative self-talk) to continue it will lead to a bad mood and pessimism about the future. Because of this attitude, more negative experiences are likely to happen to you and it’s unlikely that you will handle them well. An example would be having a poor driving range session before a round. A pessimist or negative thinker would begin to worry, thinking that “if this continues it’s going to be a bad round…”.
Another example would be a run of poorly played holes. The pessimist will say something like, “I’m on a bogey train and I can’t get off”, and they struggle to bounce back. An optimist on the other hand, sees an undesirable situation as something temporary (and a learning opportunity) and for this reason, something good is around the corner.
Optimism
“Optimism is at the center of mental toughness”. – Performance Psychologist, Dr. Michael Gervais
In his book, “Learned Optimism”, Martin Seligman, considered to be the “father of positive psychology”, says that optimists achieve more, have better overall health, and have a more enjoyable life. Because they deal with challenges and setbacks better, they have lower levels of the stress hormone Cortisol, which (if persistently high) can lead to health issues, anxiety, and depression.
So how do we be more optimistic? Does simply telling yourself that the glass is half full or that you will shoot a good score actually work? Unfortunately, it’s not that simple.
The reason that optimism is at the center of mental toughness (as Gervais says), is because it’s an attitude about how you handle failure and setbacks. In other words, when things don’t go your way, do you have the attitude that you can make things better, or do you get stuck in a negative mind?
There are two types of optimism: realistic and unrealistic or “self-deceptive” optimism. Realistic optimism is good, but unrealistic optimism will hold you back.
Take goal setting for example; aiming high at the beginning of the year might be considered “positive” or “optimistic”, but if it’s unrealistic it will only make you feel like you are falling short all the time and lead to frustration and lower your motivation and effort.
Telling yourself: “I’m going to shoot level par today” when you’ve never broken 80 before will probably have a negative effect.
During a round, trying to be “positive” when you’re not playing well, probably won’t help. E.g., Telling yourself that “you are a great player” sounds like you are trying to convince yourself of something that isn’t true, and cause you to get even more frustrated and negative. In fact, a lot of “positive thinking” falls into this category i.e., you try to convince yourself that if you think it, you will achieve it.
Realistic optimism is when you understand that if you stay present and control what you can control, then it’s possible that things can go your way. A realistic optimist achieves more because they know when things are going badly, they are still learning, and they can use experience and knowledge to adapt and improve. A realistic optimist has a growth mindset – failure and mistakes (although uncomfortable) are seen as a positive – obstacles provide us with the answers we need for growth. As Ryan Holiday author of “The Obstacle is The Way” says:
“When you have a goal, obstacles are actually teaching you how to get where you want to go- carving you a path.”
A realistic optimist is more focused on their process i.e. “If I do this (action), then it’s possible that I can do this (outcome)”, implying that through their process (of learning and taking action), better outcomes lie ahead. This further increases motivation and effort.
The unrealistic optimist or what we might consider a “positive thinker”, can sometimes ignore what is true, downplay mistakes and the value of “process”, in favor of focusing on a positive outcome i.e. “I will do this (outcome)” or “This will happen (outcome)”. In this respect, positive thinking and having expectations are quite similar.
Being less “positive” and a more of a realistic optimist, is what Trevor Moawad calls “Neutral Thinking”. A neutral thinker isn’t negative or positive, instead they are always viewing their experiences non-judgmentally and the knowledge gained helps them make better decisions on what to do next. By bringing your attention to what you can do NOW, rather than focusing on positive or negative outcomes, you make positive outcomes more possible. Moawad says: “What happens next will be determined by what you do next, not by what has happened.”
I like this approach a lot. Instead of indulging in the fantasy of “positive thinking”, (which can feel fake and lead to expectations) you base your thinking on facts and the process needed for good performance. I.e., If I do these things, then it’s possible that I will achieve great things!
Gratitude
“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.” – Cicero
Whereas optimism is forward looking (about the future), gratitude is about appreciating what you have now. Both are powerful mindsets that we choose. Whatever is happening in a round of golf, there is something to be grateful for. By focusing on what you are grateful for, you trigger the release of feel-good chemicals such as Serotonin, Dopamine and Oxytocin.
Let’s put the game of golf in perspective. For most of us that play golf, it is a game that we choose to do for fun. Whatever score you shoot, you are still playing golf. You are invariably in a beautiful setting, you are healthy enough to play and you are together with friends.
Life could always be far worse than playing the game you love. You could have health problems, not be in a financial position to play or live in a place with no access to golf courses. This doesn’t mean that you casually stroll around the course without the intention to perform well – I know you are a competitor and you care about how you play – but if you find yourself focusing on the negatives, remind yourself of where you are and what you are doing. Feel the weather, look at the sky, the trees, the birds and feel the grass beneath your feet.
Exercises to become more optimistic and grateful
Although some people are naturally more optimistic, research by Martin Seligman (and many others) conclude that optimism is a trainable skill with exercises such as the following:
- At the end of each day, write down 3 times that you experienced joy in the day. This could be something small such as your morning coffee, a random act of kindness from a stranger or the sunshine on your walk to work.
- After a round or practice session, write down all the positive outcomes and the process you went through to achieve them.
- Think about all your good shots and what process lead to them.
- What obstacles did you encounter and what did you learn to make you better?
With repetition of these exercises, you’ll develop more of a optimistic and grateful attitude which will help you navigate challenges on and off the course. You’ll find that you will begin to (automatically) search for solutions and possibilities, instead of focusing on the negatives.
